Pizza gangsters combine war gears and cooked
Blog Andrew Joseph 24 May , 2025 0
Are you wondering who the first person to put peanut butter and chocolate together was? Part of me feels that it has to be loaded. I mean, you combine two already great flavors to make Reese more or less build the entire brand. Then, part of me thought it invented the chicken McNuag in the wire like the hypothetical person. Paste from the large camera and go back to the basement to find a way to make the fries taste better. I don't know the answer; I hope this is the former. But now and then, you come across an idea, a series of things, and it's so good that you want to know no one has done it before. Whenever my squad and I sprint back to the fallen boat of our time travel and only stop to deal with the time harvesters that blocked us, I wonder if no one ever said, “Hey, what if we combine overcooked war and war gear?” Pizza Bandits.
The Pizza Bandit is very simple to set up. You are Malik, a former bounty hunter who dreams of becoming a chef, and when he is tricked out of the pizza place, he is pulled back to the bounty game, and his former crew member needs his help to get out of it. Pizza Bandit’s writing is very stupid, but it’s part of the charm. When Android Albert upgraded your weapon told me he didn't know how to apologize for what happened in my pizza store because he was just an Android, or when my pilot missed the nostalgia of how he missed the fog, or when someone said a strange meaningless line, I wasn't angry. Too stupid, the whole setup is there, OK…setting up the quirky pizza gangster.
Look, you are more than just a crew member of any bounty. You are a time-consuming bounty hunter, which means you will be in time and time to get the job done. Don't ask me what's the use of this. All I know is that the pizza heals and bullets kills, while the Reaper (the nasty little fool who seems to be invading every time schedule) doesn't want the owner of this pizza place to make any dough. That won't fly.
What sets the Pizza Gangster apart is that you are more than just shooting things. You're a little cooked, too. After the brigade, my first mission saw my crew (you can play with up to three friends) heading to the restaurant from N Owhere, a hidden outpost run by another robber crew. Our job: fulfill other bounty hunting teams’ pizza orders and deliver them to the Rocket Cabin for a timely travel. This means putting the right type of pizza together, putting it on the oven, making sure we get the right order for the drinks and adding some extra bullets for the spicy time, stuffing them all into the pods and doing it on time, they really don't like supporting small businesses.
This is another part of the war marriage overcooked/war gear comes into play. Look, Reaper means business, you won't reap from a period of time. That's their whole bag. The only solution is gangsters, which is incredibly violent. At this point, I've played several pizza robbers and let me tell you that your arsenal can perform tasks. You start by choosing the Assau LT Rifle, Minigun, and Sniper Rifle, but the fun does begin when you start unlocking the auxiliary weapon by completing the work. They start with simple: mines, grenades and things like that, but once you unlock the disco ball that attracts enemies and lets them dance before it explodes? Hui, friend. And sentinels? Perfect. You can slice it with Katana and cut it to rated time, but have you ever considered using a pizza slicer as big as a man? It will change your life.
The time of the Reaper will force you to use everything in your arsenal. You get your standard guys, they'll run to you, but there are also some reapers who will crawl on all four, the Terminator-looking people who will leaps towards you, huge hammers, hammers, those who throw fireballs (those really ruin your day), and this is the work. You must give priority to it.
Pizza Bandit is at its best when you call orders with a great team. There should be a lot of gunfire squirting “We need pepperoni pie!” and “I’m in Coke!” and “I’m frustrated!”. Simple choices, examples of how to dial your own choices, at one time a demolition of rocket pods filled with pizza and supply, as well as more complex pods such as where to place (e.g. you can block stairs), or adjust spice stuff.
Here's the truth: So far, I've just been from restaurants that I've never talked about, and it's just the first level. Pizza bandits are a clutch of pony. One of my favorite levels is that you take over the sushi restaurant and make sure you provide the right stuff for your customers on the delivery turntable. Sometimes that means running downstairs, grabbing a big tuna, taking that bad boy upstairs, and chopping him off before the Reaper beats you, and you throw him down. Other times, this means fried eggs or making cucumber rolls. You have to stay ahead of the curve because new customers take precedence over old customers and the Reaper’s time won’t sit there waiting for you to spell the masterpiece.
Sometimes you don't even cook at all. Another favorite level is the wizard's grave, where you let you explore a magical clumsy grave search for a sarcophagus. You will have to browse the traps of the grave, solve basic puzzles to reveal the way forward, and before reaching the sarcophagus itself, take out the arcane heart that powers the entire enterprise, which you will naturally transport with a jetpack before booking it back to your ship. It is not enough to do any given job; you must go home, too. Another day in a pizza bandit’s life.
Of course, there are more: On the one hand, you'll defend the cabin with Dr. Emmert Browne (Great Scott, Jofsoft, I see what you're doing here, I love!) and he invented the time travel equipment that makes your entire business profitable. Winning all of this means keeping his warmth, feeling contented with the hunger of rabbits or venison, and stopping all those annoying time-reapers (and Wendigos?) who try to stop the time travel from happening. You might think that the Reaper will understand the time paradox, but I guess not. If you don’t have time to harvest, you cannot harvest time.
Or maybe you'll break into a huge safe with a laser drill, just like the opening scene where you play the Michael Mann thief on a constantly exploding drill. That seems safe, right? But hey, obviously, there is a magic recipe in that vault that changes reality and we get paid for it, whether or not the drill bit is exploded. Pizza robbers always get the job done.
And there is always time to do your best breakthrough parody and help some people cook some “magic powder” and hide it in some chicken. Oh, you have to kill and cook the chicken. Only fresh, never frozen, baby. Pizza gangsters are always ridiculous, and its inspiration is obvious, but it is by no means fun.
Between quests, it can return to Pizza Bandits (your restaurant), where you can get and upgrade weapons, decorate the pizza Bandits itself, bake with the ingredients you find during the quest and share the party’s next run, or get some stat boosts on the next run, or give your bounty hunter some cluttered new fools. If I say that myself, a milk carton backpack is a classic option, but I'm still saving for one of the cats. What we do for fashion, right? Then come back to it. The bandits' work was never completed.
Sometimes, you don't know you want something until you get it. It wasn't until I first played on PAX two years ago that I realized I wanted a pizza bandit. This is one of the games that produces a lot of word of mouth, but it doesn't seem to work until you have the controller in your hand and everything makes sense. I don't know why we've never got anything like Pizza Gangster before, but once I played, I knew I wanted more. Pizza heals, bullets kills and pizza gangsters. If Jofsoft could stick with the landing, we would enjoy a delicious New York pie.